Off Beat Stories



An obituary……….

A satire on corruption ………. by Qaisar N.K.Jani !!!

Sixty seven year old “MOTHER HONESTY” breathed her last after a protracted illness. The whole nation plunged into deep mourning after hearing the sad news.

Mahatma Gandhi offered her as a gift to the nation on the eve of independence. Her early childhood, spent in the lap of the leaders like Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru, Dr. Rajendra Prasad etc., was full of joy and happiness. But by the time she grew up to become a full grown up woman, she had already lost her loving guardians, and the conditions around her were not so congenial. However, she survived all the odds, but remained sulking most of the times. She started finding solace among the poor and among those, who had no scope of indulgence in dishonest acts. In spite of all these, she maintained a reasonably sound health. She had a mild stroke when her twin sister, who migrated to Pakistan after the partition of the country, was mercilessly killed by the military rulers. She had the second stroke about four years back upon hearing the news of “COMMONWEALTH GAME SCAM”, but the doctors attending her managed to revive her back to life and advised the media not to flash such stories which would affect her health. Gradually, the hue and cry got settled.

However, after “COAL SCAM, “2G SCAM”,” NRHM SCAM, “DELHI JAL BOARD SCAM”, “THE NATIONAL HERALD LAND SCAM” etc. started making headlines, she could not bear it anymore and became bed ridden, fighting for life. The great lady had lots of faith and expectation from the NDA government. Her faith was totally shattered when the NDA government also, like UPA government started dillydallying the disclosure of the names of Swiss Bank account holders.  Those close to her ,saw her collapsing on the chair in front of the TV set, showing above story. For these reasons, politicians are against such channels, which show their real face.

Mother Honesty’s secretary tried to contact the hospital on phone, but the MTNL telephone was out of order, because earlier in the afternoon, she didn’t oblige the linemen who came to rectify the fault. However, the hospital was contacted through the neighbor’s phone, but the ambulance couldn’t be brought to her residence as the driver was on “FRENCH LEAVE”. She was taken to the hospital on the neighbor’s car, but not a single doctor was available to attend such emergencies, as all the senior doctors were busy in their “HONEST PRACTICE” in their private clinics . After great persuasion, the senior doctor was made available, but the oxygen cylinder didn’t work, as it had no gas for want of the fund sanction; and probably nobody in the department was as smart as the doctors of the ANIMAL HUSBANDRY DEPARTMENT, who could calculate the requirement many times more than the expected expenses. Anyway, the oxygen cylinder was managed through a private agency, run by the “BROTHER-IN-LAW” of the hospital superintendent, but it was too late and by the time it reached hospital,“ MOTHER HONESTY” had already left this dishonest world.

Reports of the reaction of the various political parties are pouring in from all corners. Congress holds the media responsible for her death, whereas, the BJP charges Congress for this tragedy. Dignitaries from all parts of the world have started arriving to have the last glimpse of the “NEVER TO BE BORN AGAIN” legend. Mortal remains of “MOTHER HONESTY” would be kept for “ANTIM DARSHAN” till next general election. The exact date of funeral is to be announced later by the Election Commission, as it has been decided to consign her to flame on the eve of the NEXT PARLIAMENTARY ELECTION.

Meanwhile, efforts are on to hunt her successor. The possible names being discussed include ANNA HAZARE and ARVIND KEJRIWAL. However, sources close to both of them claim that neither of them is interested in the offer ,for fear of premature death.

All the new papers and TV news channels have decided to blackout the corruption news till her “ANTIM SANSKAR” as a mark of respect to the departed soul.


Categories: Satire

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1 Comment

  1. Wonderful, indeed.

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